What Dr. Amber Murphy’s journey through motherhood, science and elite sport can teach us about redesigning our lives.
There is a quiet moment when a limitation becomes part of your identity.
You stop saying, “I haven’t learned that yet” and start saying, “I’m not that kind of person.”
You stop saying, “My circumstances make this difficult” and start saying, “It’s too late for me.”
The change is subtle. But it matters. Once a temporary difficulty becomes a permanent description of who you are, you may stop exploring what could change.
Dr. Amber Murphy offers a compelling reason to reconsider those conclusions. A mother of three who continued her education through financial constraints and family responsibilities, she eventually earned her doctorate. Today, as CEO of CompuSport, she works in sports biomechanics: studying movement to help athletes understand and improve their performance.
In her conversation with Daniel Kobryner on Redesign Your Life Today, one idea connects her personal journey with her scientific work:
Before you decide you have reached your limit, look more closely at what is happening.
Perhaps you need a different approach. Perhaps you need support. Perhaps the next step is smaller than you imagined.
Give Your Future a Place in Your Present
At twenty, Amber had a baby on the way and very little money. She attended community college, taking only the classes she could afford.
Her progress did not look like an uninterrupted climb. It involved parenting, working and returning to education while sometimes feeling older or different from the people around her.
What kept her moving was a clear sense of what she wanted.
“This is what I want,” she explains, “and I have to keep doing this even if it’s uncomfortable.”
There is a practical lesson here for anyone waiting for life to become less complicated.
A meaningful ambition needs a place in your actual week. If it exists only in the future, everyday responsibilities can keep pushing it further away.
Ask yourself:
What would keeping this ambition alive look like under my current circumstances?
It might mean one evening class. Twenty minutes working on a proposal. A conversation about a career change. A small amount saved towards training.
Choose a commitment you can realistically repeat. Then give it a time and place.
A difficult season can change the pace of your progress without deciding its destination.
Become Curious About What Is Holding You Back
Amber credits her father, Olympic silver medalist and biomechanics pioneer Dr. Ralph Mann, with teaching her to be curious, ask questions and trust her intelligence.
That curiosity is central to her work.
When an athlete struggles with an aspect of performance, she examines movement and data to understand why. A result alone does not tell the whole story.
We can apply that same spirit of investigation to everyday life.
Consider the statement: “I’m terrible at following through.”
It sounds definitive. Yet it tells you very little about what to do next.
More useful questions include:
- Is the task clearly defined?
- Have I allowed enough time?
- Am I avoiding a part I do not know how to do?
- Do I need help or feedback?
- Does this goal still matter to me?
Each question creates a possibility for action.
For example, if you repeatedly postpone writing, try defining the next task as “draft the opening paragraph” rather than “work on my book.” If the obstacle is uncertainty, ask someone experienced to review your approach.
Replace one judgement about yourself with one question you can investigate.
You do not need to solve your entire life at once. You need to understand one obstacle well enough to respond differently.
Pay Attention Before You Demand More
In elite sport, effort is only part of the picture. Amber studies how an athlete moves, helping the athlete and coach see details that might otherwise be missed.
That distinction has value beyond the track.
When something is not working, our first response is often to increase effort. Work longer. Push harder. Become more disciplined.
Sometimes the more useful response is to observe.
Where does the difficulty begin? What changes when you are tired? Which part of the process repeatedly breaks down?
Amber encourages people to pay attention to their bodies and consider movement alongside strength, nutrition and sleep. Her technical observations concern athletes and their individual movement patterns. They are not a universal set of running instructions for every reader.
The broader lesson is accessible: notice what you are asking your body to do and how it responds.
Before your next familiar activity, pause briefly. Notice how you feel at the beginning and afterwards. If you have recurring pain or concerns about a movement, seek an individual assessment rather than guessing at a technical correction.
Observation gives you something useful to work with. Ignoring the same difficulty gives you another opportunity to repeat it.
Let Feedback Improve You Without Defining You
Amber is careful about how she communicates with athletes.
She acknowledges what they do well before discussing what needs work. Her purpose is to help them improve.
That approach matters because feedback can easily become personal.
A suggestion about technique becomes “I’m not talented.” A rejected proposal becomes “I’m not good enough.” A setback becomes “I knew I couldn’t do this.”
When that happens, the useful information can disappear beneath the emotional reaction.
Try separating feedback into three questions:
- What specifically happened?
- What can I learn from it?
- What will I practise or change next?
For example: “My presentation lost focus halfway through. I need a clearer structure. I’ll rehearse the transition between the two main ideas.”
That is something you can work on.
“I’m a terrible speaker” leaves you with a verdict.
You can take improvement seriously while speaking to yourself with respect.
Build a Routine That Survives an Ordinary Day
Amber’s approach to daily wellbeing is refreshingly flexible.
She values gratitude and meditation. But she also recognises that demanding routines can become difficult to maintain. A minute of meditation or two sentences in a journal can still be a worthwhile beginning.
She describes getting on the treadmill with the intention of running, then choosing to walk when running does not feel right that day.
There is an important distinction between adapting a commitment and abandoning it.
If your routine works only when you have abundant energy, uninterrupted time and perfect motivation, it may need a more realistic version.
Create two options:
Your usual version: what you do when time and energy allow.
Your smaller version: what you can reasonably do on a demanding day.
For a learning goal, that might be thirty minutes of study or reading one page. For reflection, it might be a full journal entry or writing one sentence about what mattered today.
The smaller version should still serve the purpose of the habit.
It gives you a way to continue without turning every difficult day into a test of your worth.
Ask for Help With Something Specific
When asked for practical steps towards transformation, Amber emphasises support.
She acknowledges the encouragement of her husband and children. Her persistence mattered. So did the people who helped make that persistence possible.
Many people delay asking for help because they believe they should manage everything themselves.
But a vague sense of overwhelm is difficult for someone else to respond to. A specific request gives them a clearer opportunity.
Try:
“Could you help me protect one hour on Wednesday for this course?”
“Would you look at this plan and tell me what I might be missing?”
“Can we check in next week about the step I’m taking?”
Support does not remove your responsibility. It can help you carry it more effectively.
Choose One Small Piece of the Future Today
Amber’s final recommendation is beautifully practical: choose a tiny daily goal.
Something small enough to complete. Something that lets you say, “I did something for myself today.”
To put her three recommendations into practice, write down:
What do I truly want?
Describe something you want for yourself rather than something you feel expected to want.
What support would help?
Name one person and one specific request.
What small step will I complete today?
Choose an action with a clear finish.
Make the step modest enough to fit your real life and meaningful enough to move you towards what matters.
Your future does not need to arrive fully formed before you begin contributing to it.
A class attended. A question asked. A habit adapted. A request for help.
These are ordinary actions. Repeated over time, they can become part of an extraordinary change.
Watch the Full Conversation
Watch the full episode of Redesign Your Life Today with Daniel Kobryner and Dr. Amber Murphy for a deeper conversation about reinvention, biomechanics, her father’s legacy and the small steps that keep possibility alive.
If you have been wondering what you are still capable of, let this conversation help you choose your next step.